Week 9: Scores

I have never felt so anxious in Contact Improv  before as I did today. I think it was one of those days when anything just does not feel right and it is difficult to find contact points with other person,. Although, this time, I barely could find connection even with myself… Of course, I was trying to question myself why? who has effected me that much? why did in technique class I was quite fine and now I do not know what is going on with my?, however nothing came up, apart that it might be the effect of the  full moon. Anyways, I did find something interesting… First of all, I was comparing my experience from the Saturdays workshop and today’s class. In the actual workshop I felt much more confident than I usually do in a class. Also, there  I had an opportunity to contact with people I have never contacted before, and surprisingly ,it did not feel awkward at all (which I thought would be). So, after that Saturday’s trip, I felt so inspired and positive about me dancing in the space because I  really  thought  it helped me to find and improve my own ways of moving, but I guess I was wrong. Of course, I should not be that negative about myself, but I just could not understand why I cannot free myself while dancing in the class. Usually I feel so limited and fruitless, sometimes even scared to contact with others or move by my own. Here, I was thinking whether the room might be an issue, because when I am in the studio 3, I  am always thinking that I am assessed, marked, judged, etc. Saying that, I am sure this is not true, but now I am more stressed and cautious, which would definitely not help to show ‘my best’… 

Talking about what we did in the class, I found in really hard to start it straight away with contacting somebody.  It was too soon for me. I did not how to response to people’s actions and find solid connections. Hence, I was hoping that working with scores will awake my awareness, but the scores were not that strict that would have effected my decisions to move in certain ways…
On the whole, I did admire every group’s score ideas. I think creating scores and participating in them helps you to enrich your creativity level which later might be very useful tool in choreographed composition. That kind of links to the reading from the last week, when at first I thought it is very boring if the score has loads of limits and tasks. Today, when I actually had a chance to be in a score, I found it very difficult not to have that much restrictions that would influence and challenge my ‘movement vocabulary’. Therefore, maybe it is good to start with the easy things and improve it later, but on the other hand I noticed having much freedom might make people passive and not serious in colleague’s scores. Also, sometimes instructions were ignored and attention was not paid enough… This is actually what me and Claire thought while absorbing people participating in our group’s score…

All in all, I feel quite sad that this term is coming to the end and we are not going to have contact improvisation and jam next term. At the moment, after every single class, I am looking forward to come back next week to improve more and adapt my understanding of contact and my body…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *