I cannot believe that I am ‘wearing’ my skin for 21 years, but I have not been exploring or thinking about it at all until now. Perhaps, if someone had asked me what does the skin mean to me, I believe I would have said that it shows your color or that it is just the largest organ of the integumentary system. However know, every time after Contact Improvisation session, I am starting to think that humans (especially young people) are thought as robots at schools, because everything is all about mechanics and characteristics, but things like sensing and knowing yourself are just forgotten (ignored)… For instance if we talk about the act of touching: we know that it brings a re-freshness of attention that might appreciate as a new sensory knowledge of our own anatomy and recognized in the context of human being. (Holt and Bannon, 2012, 218) And here my question is how it is possible do not to now these things, do not to know our skin’s senses, when we are covered by it for the whole life? I guess, we became such a strangers not only in the society life but even for oneself, because mostly we use our skin just to describe the temperature! So, at the moment I am feeling like a baby, because I have to learn and develop some new sensations in my skin. I think, I was literally living for that long without knowing myself at all – which is bad, but there is good good thing as well: every contact lecture also reminds me somatic practices as they also analyse how does the living body becomes a field (Eddy, 2009, 6). Perhaps, to become a ‘field’ requires a lot of effort and I have to grow that…
This Wednesday I have noticed that a lot of people do not feel comfortable in their ‘field’ (skin).Even if we are in the same situation, girls still feel awkward when it comes to touching other. Of course, I understand that is very intimate as you are constantly in touch with somebody, but only through the practice you can understand what does it mean to be toucher and to be touched (Holt and Bannon, 2012, 220). However here things got difficult in the class. I have noticed that people trying to avoid the touching tasks as much as possible because they feel too sweaty. I guess girls are just too nice, but these side-talks really distracted me to do the tasks properly. I was not feeling myself as well. It was hard to work with a confidence when we were in pairs, when I knew that one of us were not thinking about the real tasks, but about other things isntead… I still believe that you must feel (or look) confident to engage an effective work. Also, I’m still looking for eye contact. I believe it is intimate as well, but whether want you or not, you must follow your partner, make a deeper contact with him/her!
Talking about my other experience in a classroom, I was wondering how to improve myself outside this lecture. Should I do specific exercises? How to improve my movement vocabulary, my contact work? When I’m watching lectures dancing, they look like super-humans! How long it takes to become one? When will I get the answers? When will I find my way of improvising? Why do I have so many questions in my mind at the moment?
I hope to find the answers with every session. Or at least get closer to them…
Bannon, F. and Duncan, H. (2012) Touch: Experience and knowledge. Journal of Dance and Somatics Practices, 3 (1/2) 215-227.
Eddy, M. (2009) A brief history of somatic practices and dance: historical development of the field of somatic education and its relationship to dance. Journal of Dance and Somatic Practices, 1, (1) 5-27.