When I was reading the article ‘Is Contact a Small dance?’ by Byron Brown, I was hoping that finally this is the text which is going to answer my questions I have got about CI. However, when the author mentioned him still having more questions than the answers, my hopes to find some answers about CI begun to fade out again. On the other hand, I have realized why does the CI attract so many dancers: perhaps, you just really want to acquire knowledge of this ‘small dance’…
Talking about my ‘knowledge’ I felt that within every week I get more and more confused. In contrast, the confusion made me be more aware of what am I doing, what do the others do and what are the reasons. This week I found it hard to connect with somebody. Knowing that you and your partner have to be responsible for the communication within the body and that you have to make sure there is a dialogue, a creative interplay of two different histories (Brown, 74), scared me away. If in the beginning of this module, we were discussing CI as a ‘free movement’, now it became more structured and body-mind operated technique. In addition, after we split into the groups for the Research Lab, I found out that there are more people struggling with the same things. For instance, me, Claire, Emma and Georgie find it difficult to use eye contact even though we believe (and know that for a fact) that eye contact plays very important role when dancing. Hence, in our mind map, we just wrote eye contact and pointed out the first ideas that came to our mind. Some of them do not relate to eye contact, but if the eye contact is considered as a part of communication, then everything makes sense. Particularly speaking, we are quite interested in why it is hard to contact, especially with the eyes open. Is there a problem within a society, or there are any other issues. To see that we decided to create two tasks for people: one with the closed eyes and one with opened. It would be interesting to know which way people prefer more, but at the same time we are willing to help them achieve that courage when you do understand that eye contact should not be taboo… 
When it comes more to my personal experience of Week 4 Contact Improv session, I am very critical to myself. I felt very sad, when I released again that my movement vocabulary is so poor. I could not find dynamics in my movements as well. I was thinking how to improve myself, because just 3 hour session might not be enough. But how? Also, how to trust people you are dancing with. It is okay to trust my course girls, but if I ever go to Contat Improv Jam somewhere else, would I be able to dance with people I have never seen before? Seeing how much CI has shifted since Steve Paxton started, makes me question what kind of community CI is nowadays what kind of dancers go there and the main question would be what do they look for?
Brown, B. (1981) Is Contact a Small Dance? Contact Improvisation Sourcebook I. 6.72-75.